Are you following someone else’s path in search of your own purpose?
In Richard Branson’s autobiography “Losing my Virginity” he frequently mentions calling someone of stature or fame…
My interest is on how he approaches such situations. What stood out for me here is not the overtly implied fact that he ‘just did it’, but the reoccurring inclusion of ‘picking up the phone’.
By including the words “picked up the phone” Branson is saying that calling people of stature or fame is as simple as picking up the phone.
However on a deeper level, embedded in these words, is evidence of a useful technique in overcoming otherwise challenging obstacles.
If calling someone is difficult, it’s certainly at least a bit easier once the phone is in your hand. (Like going for a run is easier once you have your running shoes on.)
This is not the big idea though. The big idea is where Branson’s (and your) attention goes. Branson’s primary attention is not on calling, but on picking up the phone.
Instead of focusing on making that phone call, focus on picking up the phone.
Instead of focusing on going for a run, focus on putting your shoes on each morning.
Change your focus and find yourself slipping past challenges like Richard Branson.
In Richard Branson’s autobiography “Losing my Virginity” I noticed a few times how he uses the word “decided” in places many people usually wouldn’t. Like in this passage…
This particular passage exemplifies the kind of worldview that leaders like Branson hold. At this meeting, he didn’t ‘realise’ they were right, nor did he ‘understand’ they were right…he ‘decided’ that they were right. This may seem like a subtle difference, but it’s not.
Think of the power contained in the ability to ‘decide’ for yourself and your business when something is right or wrong. A decision does not necessarily make something true, but it certainly makes something happen.
If you want to make things happen, then instead of waiting to ‘know’ what to do, simply decide.
When I meet someone new, I want them to trust me as fast as humanly possible. I’m talking within minutes…seconds even. I want them comfortable telling me their private stories, their emotional weaknesses…not because I necessarily want to know any of this stuff, but because I want to make a real human connect with them.
Trust is a foundation for making a real human connect.
Honesty and authenticity are two of my highest values, so it can be frustrating when people I meet don’t trust me right away. However, to blame them for this useless. Mistrust of a strangers is natural and expected.
The smart approach is to simply get better at building trust.
In this 30 minute podcast I explain my three main pillars for creating rapid trust when meeting new people. The ideas come mostly from my personal experience building relationships in cities around the world and building businesses in different industries, along with some thinking from NLP, neuroscience and psychology. It is a condensed version of the content that I teach on my RHC trainings.
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There is so much talk about the newest and slickest techniques in persuasion that some of the most basic, time-tested and powerful rules are often forgotten (or never even learned). I’m not talking about the kind of stuff you learn in a course on secret language patterns. I’m talking about the core principles that fathers tell their sons, the stuff an old Chinese man probably wrote down a few thousand years ago.
Recently I was reminded of the most crucial key to winning at persuasion.
Despite repeated attempts, I’ve yet to make it into a cinema without buying popcorn. Going to see the film Inception a few weeks ago was no exception.
“One small please?” I requested.
“We only have medium and large containers left,” replied the twenty-something guy behind the counter.
“That’s OK…” I say glancing up at the menu displaying “Small £3.75” and “Medium £4.25” “…I’ll have a small popcorn inside of a medium container.”
He stood there dazed for a few seconds.
In the persuasion context, we would call this an incongruence or pattern interrupt. By saying something unexpected while he was in his routine, I had knocked his cognition slightly off-line and opened a window of opportunity to give him further suggestions. But I missed it and the window shut again.
He started shaking his head.
I accidentally pointed my camera at this drug dealer, which pissed him off, but I was able to talk him down and have him laughing in seconds.
Since I caught the whole thing on video, I have broken it down here second by second to explain what was happening in my head and what I did.
I WOULD LOVE YOUR FEEDBACK on this stuff. Do you like it? Do you find value in it? My plan is to do lots more real-world videos demonstrating authentic attraction, influence and inspiration and YOUR feedback is a big part of this.
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I’ve had a hunch for awhile that positive affirmations could in some cases be destructive. I know it sounds strange, but keep reading…
I use positive affirmations almost daily, usually in short bursts before I’m going to do some activity or need a bit of motivation.
“I can get this done in 5 minutes, so start it now. I’m awesome.”
“I’m incredibly good at this. They will love it.”
Most of the time I find the little trick very empowering and motivating. However I have also noticed that in rare situations, positive self talk can result in an onslaught of “but” and “what if” internal dialogue. Such dialogue is self-defeating and usually shifts my emotional state in a negative direction as well as reinforces my doubt.
Next time you’re down or even just in a less than spectacular mood, go ahead and try this…
Grab your headphones and find that one song that gets you feeling positive and full of energy more than any other. You might want to find a reasonably private spot, where you can at least close your eyes comfortably.
If you’re sitting, stand up.