My 5 Step Process For Creating

As a reminder (initially for myself), I’ve summarized my process for creating everything into 5 stages. My clients are finding it useful as well, so I’m sharing with you too.

1. I witness.
2. I access.
3. I intuit.
4. I act.
5. I allow.

If you have questions – or want me to unpack anything – please ask! 🙏🏼❤️

The Inefficacy of Consideration

I find that most consideration prior to taking action is only delaying the inevitable. When as a practice one stops considering and simply acts more often, besides gaining back the time that would have otherwise been spent in consideration, there is an unexpected secondary gain in productivity. I would even go so far as to say that consideration is inversely proportional to FLOW.

The Rise of Emojis

In David Abram’s book ‘The Spell of the Sensuous’ he shares a theory as to how the evolution from symbolic to phonetic language was instrumental in disassociating humans from their embodied sensuous connection to each other and the earth.

I have read also that the Garden of Eden myth represents this same transition in that the birth of language, which sliced up reality into separate conceptual bits, was the bite of the apple from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

The recent frequent use of emoji’s to express oneself is looked down upon by many as a descent from the nobility of language. However, I am enjoying using them as an exploration in the merits of their subjectivity and what they evoke.

Each emoji here represents a functional idea about my identity, which I do daily work with to inculcate as habitual thought. I find that contemplating the ideas via the symbol gives me access to more diverse interpretation and richer meaning, lending power to the installation and efficacy to their function.

What do you think of the increasing use of emojis? How are you using them?

How to Transcend FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

My wife and I share an ‘Explorer’ personality style which is commonly rooted in a childhood fear of missing out.

This expresses itself in novelty-seeking and a nearly unquenchable desire for diversity of experience.

An unhealthy version of this is a constant shifting of attention to new things, resulting in never accessing any depth or creating anything of significance.

Growth within this style is to learn to experience diversity within focused contexts.

For example, my wife has shown me how to experience novelty and diversity in the nuance and subtlety of foods. In my work, I experience diversity within a fixed profession by coaching entrepreneurs and leaders from a myriad of industries.

On our recent 10 night holiday in Hawaii, we focused in on the single island of Kauai. (No coincidence that when I was younger and came for 10 days I visited two islands.)

However, as planned, halfway through our trip we switched resorts from the south to the north of the island. In hindsight, we did this because we could not decide which one would be better. I had suggested ‘Let’s just do both’!

Often, ‘both/and’ is a great transcendent option. In fact, an orientation for diversity can be crucial in developing the skill of seeing integrative both/and solutions in complex situations.

At the same time, for me personally, if I’m not conscious it can also be a reflexive response to my fear of missing out.

We agree that we could have stayed at just one resort for 10 days and, if we had, then our time would have been less rushed and even more relaxing.

This, I think, is relevant more generally too; that the fear of missing out is fundamental in my habitual hurriedness.

What I see is that the more I make conscious choices NOT from a fear of missing out – the more I choose to find diversity and novelty in more nuanced ways – then the more relaxed and at peace I feel.

I’m reminded of the 10 day silent retreat I did in India in 2006. I would sit for hours on a bench just looking at the trees. There was infinite depth for me there and I hardly moved a muscle.

Every morning my son and I wake first and we head out of the room so his mother can get more sleep. I follow him around the massive resort as he greets everyone he comes across. After commenting on how cute he is, they often remark; “He is quite the Explorer!”

When they do, I imagine all of the life and growth ahead of him.

Time & Boundaries

Some years ago I was invited to do a TEDx talk on creating a world without borders.

I am reminded of this often when I help clients to create a life without boundaries.

Borders and boundaries both emerge from the same thinking.

It is an insidious kind of thinking that keeps one always on edge, always needing the borders and boundaries, and thus keeping oneself in place.

When you see beyond this thinking though – whether we are discussing time management or human movement – borders and boundaries both become irrelevant.

How to Enjoy the Repetitive

Repetition is the mother of all skill.

Many people get bored doing the same thing over and over and over again.

However, if you don’t have consistency and repetition, then you won’t develop mastery or excellence.

So how do you overcome the boredom?

The answer is not in ‘overcoming’ the boredom. One need not ‘feel the boredom and do it anyway.’

Boredom actually only occurs when you see nothing changing. Thus boredom is the result of a focus on sameness.

If you want to achieve mastery, then you need to shift your focus to difference.

In the pursuit of excellence, while you’re repeating the something over and over again, most of the difference will be subtle.

Despite it being subtle, if you focus on what is different, you will see difference, you will stay engaged and you will never be bored.

The Father Inside Me

“DAAAAAD! DAAA DAAA! DAAAAAAADD!”, he screamed at the top of his lungs.

It was 5:45am. He was half asleep and still in our bed with his mother and I had just gotten up to begin my day.

For the past two hours he’d been waking up, moaning each of our names, most likely from night terrors.

This time though, he was screaming bloody murder. I’d never heard him scream for me this loud before.

My heart jumped into double time, I turned and dove back into the bed next to him.

“It’s OK buddy. I’m here. Daddy is here. Daddy loves you, “ I assured while cuddling him and stroking his hair.

His eyes were still closed, but as he snuggled into me his screaming for me slowed and stopped.

I remember my friend Rich telling me once about when his son first called for him by ‘Dad’ from another room how it was a moment of realizing on a deeper level that he was a father and that he had a son.

When this morning, my boy – whose dream had most likely been influenced by my leaving the bed – screamed for me, it woke me up to a new depth of my fatherhood. The way I turned and jumped back towards the bed, even though intellectually I knew nothing wrong, was so primal; so fatherly.

I love meeting this part of myself. A part that had been there my whole life waiting to be activated.

The father inside me.

A Call for Presence

When my son was about a year old, I once covered his ears while a firetruck was driving by us with it’s sirens blaring.

Since shortly after this he has taken to covering his own ears whenever he hears a siren.

Most often, at first I wonder why he is doing it.

“There are no sirens right now…?”

But when I finish speaking the thought that things aren’t right, in the silence of my confusion a very distant and faint siren can be heard. Blocks away, maybe even the next town over.

Without a barrage of thoughts firing inside my head I am so much more available to experience the depth of what is actually happening around me, right now.

And so these moments when my boy raises his hands to cover his ears for the siren, I am taking as an alert to the profundity of his presence and a call for my own.

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