Do you want to present yourself well?

Have you been considering how to present yourself well at your next job interview, sales meeting, first date, funding pitch or networking or social event?

I won’t suggest that being concerned with how we present ourselves is all bad.

At the same time, because of the general insecure nature of human beings today, our focus on how we present ourselves is more often an obstacle to achieving our outcomes than it is an aid.

When I am concerned with how I am presenting myself, I may think…

How do I look on video today?
Do I sound smart?
Was I talking too fast?

When I hear myself thinking things like this, I notice it as a feeling of concern with how I am ‘presenting’ myself.

I have taught myself that this feeling is a flag – a reminder – of a distinction I would like to share with you:

Presenting vs Present

These are choices I can make.

I can either be concerned with how I am ‘presenting’ myself.

Or I can be concerned with how ‘present’ I am being with others.

And I cannot do either of these at my best at the same time.

Going back to my Physics roots, in 1927 Werner Heisenberg stated that the more precisely the position of some particle is determined, the less precisely its momentum can be known, and vice versa.

In this same way, in any particular moment, the more one focuses on ‘presenting’ their self, the less ‘present’ one can be with others, and vice versa.

When I notice the flag – when I catch that I am unconsciously focused on presenting myself – I have created a choice.

When I create this choice, I always choose being present over presenting myself.

This is because I value presence with others over how I present myself to others.

I am not saying you should value the same, but I do want you to have the choice.

COACHING QUESTIONS:

• Where in your life are you concerned with how you are presenting yourself?
• How is that concern stopping you from being as present with others as you could be?
• Will you choose to instead focus your energy and intention on being fully present with others?